Sorry, Could You Speak Up?

I wouldn’t exactly call it eavesdropping, more like audio surveillance. Most of the time when I overhear other people’s conversations it is by accident. Like yesterday, when I innocently sat at the counter at a local coffee shop. Next to me sat two young ladies having a conversation about life and love. Technically, I could have moved to another seat; however I heard something that sparked my interest. “I don’t let my husband do that”, Lady 1 said. Lady 2 responded, saying “me neither, then again you and I are strict wives. Not everyone is”. SERIOUSLY! I had no idea there was such a thing as a strict wife, or that it was even an option. Determined to find out more, I slowly slide my chair closer to where they were sitting (I even thought about interjecting with a question, but I have to draw the line somewhere). At the end of the conversation the only thing I learned was that strict wife was a metaphor for insecure and people look at you funny when they figure out you are completely enthralled in their conversation. They will eventually move outside of earshot.

Don’t worry. I was undeterred, and given the opportunity would gladly listen in on someone else’s conversation (it’s like reality T.V only better). In order to successfully ear hustle (as my husband calls it), you have to be shameless. One must accept the fact that they are nosy, and will go through great lengths to find things out (being a good parent many times is predicated by nosiness. How else would little Johnny’s mom find out he was smoking pot if she had not gone through his things? It is our duty). Once you are successfully without shame, you can do all sorts of things (like steal your kid’s candy, and blame it on your husband)! It’s very liberating.