Don't Speak!

On Saturday, I saw No Doubt in concert. I took my time getting ready; cute dress, flawless make-up, and salon worthy hair. Feeling like a queen, and worthy of the Hot Mom of the Year award, I left for the concert.

As the lights on the stage grew brighter, a silhouette of the band appeared. 20,000 voices cheered in anticipation, as Gwen Stefani stepped on stage. Standing in mid drift perfection, wearing low rise pants and a tiny shirt, Mrs. Stefani stole my self esteem.

As she belted out "Don't Speak", I couldn't help but wonder what magic she possessed to have both six pack abs and two children. Convinced that such a combination must be the result of something other worldly, I worked on a spell of my own:

As I eat this garlic fry,
That's sure to make it to my thighs,
Send these calories, grease and fat,
To her tummy, that is impossibly flat!

Surprisingly, it didn't work (but the garlic fries were fantastic).

11 comments:

Laura said...

It seems all the Stars can have babies & bounce back to flat abs, but it has never happened for me.

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Jaye @ canadian-mom.ca said...

Hahaha! I love your "spell" :) I don't know how she does it, but damn I WOULD LOVE to look like her.

Candace Sheppard said...

Girl i am right there with ya! I love Gwen but I hate her stomach.

Mommies-Miracles said...

I tell you I agree full heartedly. I know quite a few skinny moms. I wish I could be one lol.

The Redhead Riter said...

I wish it was that easy!
Hoping you have a tremendously happy Thursday!

Brooke said...

Oh, I know how you feel - get all dressed up and feeling cute and then some hot, young thing walks by. Urg.

Anonymous said...

In the pool with your eldest two I begin to sing "I got two grandsons and I ain't shame..." I was interrupted by Justice who corrected me. I have THREE grandsons and I ain't shame I have THREE grandsons and I love them just the same...
Love you your Mom!

Ohio_Momto3boys said...

Love it!
You, my dear, are just in the WRONG part of the country. Here in Ohio, (at least in our rural quasi-Amish part), super-skinny is considered unhealthy and a sign of poor homemaking skills (Just like a skinny husband means poor ability as a wife! LOL).

It sure would be fun to get dressed up and go OUT though... just ignore those skinny-minny girls and know that your kids are way cuter than any those skinny girls will ever have!!

Katie

Whitney said...

I wanna be a skinny mom. And my kids are older (20 & 13) so I don't even have a baby excuse...

Sharing the comment love!

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The Redhead Riter said...

for you...

http://theredheadriter.blogspot.com/2009/08/secrets-friends-and-sharing.html

Andrea (ace1028) said...

Hope you enjoyed the performance, anyway, despite being a "hater!" Don't worry, I am one, too! I know I love Gwen like crazy, and want to beat her up at the same time, but she'd surely kick my a$$ w. her in-shape-self! Ah, well. I'll just stay a wannabe Harajuku girl.