Stretchy Like a Rubber Band

I have three babies (well, mostly big boys who I will always refer to as my babies) by way of three C-sections. Explaining the birth process to my boys always omitted the traditional exit route. I opted to instead say, "then the doctor takes the baby out". Both boys concluded that the only way the doctor could take the baby out was by way of some type of surgery.

Recently, I decided to tell them how most babies enter the world. The conversation went like this:

Mom: Most moms push babies out of there vagina.

Boys: (general looks of shock and horror) But Mom, there vagina's would be SO broken!

Mom: (my sentiments exactly, however I gave the mommy correct answer) Well, the vagina stretches so the baby can come out. The doctor also gives the mommy medicine so it doesn't hurt much.

Boys: Why do you even want to be a girl! (smart, smart boys)

The conversation ended with me thoroughly entertained, and the subject remained virtually untouched until recently.

While on vacation, my oldest son Journey asked his much older cousin (26), "Why don't you have kids"? He further explained, "It's not that painful because they give you medicine and your vagina is stretchy like a rubber band". A little taken aback by Journey's knowledge of her vagina, she simply stated, "Oh. Thank You".

Next, we will work on when it is, and is not appropriate to discuss a woman's vagina.

10 comments:

Momma Such said...

Oh my! Ha ha! What can I even say!? Sounds like something that would happen at our house! It's so fun explaining things to little boys, isn't it? lol

Baking Momma said...

First I'd like to say thank you for visiting my blog!
Second,
Too funny. I had the talk with my son right before he entered 5th grade. He had some friends that knew way to much. Believe me yours went smoothly. My son does not stop till he feels you have told him everything. I mean everything. But he is very mature and I know what he can handle. When I think it is too much then I tell him you are not old enough for that. Then he gives me the look! I start to laugh and he wont stop till I am on the ground begging for mercy and tell him what he wants to know. lol

Stacie's Madness said...

roflmao. I love your blog, have I mentioned that before?

MommaD said...

love the story. soooo something my boyz would say! me eldest was born "traditionally", my younger three were all c-sections. in our household they refer to themselves as "pushies" or "cutees"....there own little world!

Aubrey said...

Hilarious! That is some funny (but true!) stuff! LOL

Jana said...

hahahahaha, thanks for the heads up we havent had that discussion yet but I laughed out loud and all my boys said "whats so funny" to which I answered
"nothing" because I am a pansy and dont want to talk about my super non medicated birthing experiences. So freakin hilarious...hahaha

natalee said...

Hey girl you've been Meme'd come to my blog to pick it up..

Marion's Musings said...

Oh my! That is so funny. Good for you starting early. Open up the subject when they are little and keep it open as they age. That's what I did and I think it worked out OK.
Funny post!

The Redhead Riter said...

I think I'm peeing in my panties.

Priceless moment


Stopping by to give a little bloggie love tonight.

Fernanda said...

THIS is why I love having boys. They are hilarious. When my boys are ready for the talk I'll be sure to use your explanation and then have the "when it's appropriate to discuss a woman's vagina" at the same time. Your blog cracks me up.