I'd Like to Thank...

As I sit here watching the People's Choice Awards, I realize that I have never accepted an award in front of an adoring audience. This makes sense considering that I am not a actress or songstress. I am not a philanthropist, a small town hero, nor have I done anything to inspire peace across the globe. However, that doesn't change the fact that I really want (really, really want) to win a golden statue. I want to sit in the crowd and act surprised when they call my name. I want to stand at the podium and thank God, family, and all the people who made my win possible. Of course I would thank my fans , who motivate me to keep doing whatever it is I'm being awarded for. I would end my speech with something witty (because that's what my fans would expect from me), and humbly exit stage left. I would steer clear from the ugly cry, or anything else snot inducing (but depending on the audience, may shed a single tear). I have it all planned out minus one annoying detail; who in heck would give me an award?

Being a mom is stressful. Surely there should be an award to distinguish the good moms from the ones who suck (some moms suck. Sad, but true). There should be an entire award show dedicated to our hard work (like the People's Choice Awards), with categories like, "Best Boo Boo Kisser", and "Best Last Minute School Project Puller-Offer". Nominees would show up in designer gowns, and walk the red carpet as the paparazzi snapped photos. TMZ would shout out inappropriate questions, and for one evening we would pretend like we didn't spend the majority of our time dedicated to another human being.

Until then, I will continue to practice my "surprised" face and acceptance speech (cause all you other moms are going down!).

What category would you win ? (This is your chance to make up your own award. Don't worry, you're the only nominee so your destined to win.)

11 comments:

Debby said...

Surviving 3 boys? Meet Raising Amazing Daughters. I'm enjoying your blog and am fascinated by much of what you say because there isn't really so much difference, after all. Mine are grown now but the stories are so much alike. Our oldest said "Malcolm" instead of thank you for a while and then we all adopted it because it was so damn cute. It started because when she said "thank you," we said "you're welcome" and I guess she thought we were correcting her because then, instead of thank you, she said "you're welcome" except it came out "Malcolm."
Good news, like much of the stuff we all worry about when the kids are young, none of it mattered. She's 28 now and has learned to speak just perfectly.

Candace Sheppard said...

How about we create an award show of sorts, lol! I would win the award for most successful at juggling the responsibility while killing herself at the same time lol!

Glad someone else feels the way I do ;) we need an award from time to time.

Together We Save said...

You asked what award I would win....the juggling award, 3 girls, 2 in high school, varsity basketball, varsity softball, 4H, friends, fulltime job, blogger.... just to name a few.

Reesa said...

I could the award for craziest life. Mother of 2 daughters(one is away at college) one a junior and is a social butterfly, blogger of four blogs, write for, write for five writing sites,taking a cake decorating class, bakes cake and in the process of writing a cook book.
Well, that's my life and I love it.

Melissa: Mother to 3 Little Sprouts said...

I would definitely grab an award for the Mother with the least patience! God give me strength.....and patience!

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sanjeet said...

I guess she thought we were correcting her because then, instead of thank you, she said "you're welcome" except it came out "Malcolm."

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Aly said...

Love the Blog!

Aly said...

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Shelly said...

My award would be "Finder of lost stuff that is simply where it belongs." Don't understand why my husband and three boys can't find things like a hairbrush or socks only to have me look for it and I find it the one place they don't look: where it's supposed to be.

The Empress said...

I say, the award of "Moms..the original MacGuyver's."

Not my idea, I saw it elsewhere,but it's so very true...